Say something about gay babies.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize