I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
