He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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