that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
