Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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