No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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