PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
