Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
