the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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