i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
