i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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