Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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