Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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