All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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