is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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