Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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