Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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