Nicole vs. Life
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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