I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
