wanna go halves on a baby?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They are going to name an STD after you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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