What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
