Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
