If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
