Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
