i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
