i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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