You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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