So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
