I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
