how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
