heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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