We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
