He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
