At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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