I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
