You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You made out with two different species that night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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