My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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