The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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