I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
