that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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