I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
