My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
