I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
