Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry yankeesgal811 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

Fav 14 2229 845
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

Fav 23 3479 842
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

Fav 22 813 5338
share tweet
(928): View more from Arizona

If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

Fav 5 1566 1207
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"

Fav 12 2848 1293
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?

Fav 12 797 654
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night

Fav 5 535 1029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life

Fav 2 166 595
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(507): View more from Minnesota

so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?

Fav 0 51 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT