It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
