WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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