I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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