Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
