I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So squirting runs in the family.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
