dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
