That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
