ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
