Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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