If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
