I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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