Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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