i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
