Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
