i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
