I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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