i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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