WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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