Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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