dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
