good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize