Buhtt sex?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
