Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
