Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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