Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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